For the Birds
by TweenisodeOrange
Summary: Fred talks Joe and Sam into using The Book to 'help' with a U.S. History assignment on the Audubon Society. Based on Kathryn Lasky's book "She's Wearing a Dead Bird on Her Head!" For those of you who see this on my bio, just read, please?
1. Chapter 1

**My first actual story fror Time Warp Trio. It will have a few chapters... How many I don't know yet. Reveiws are appreciated. I'm trying to make this as much like an actual episode as possible. This story is based on Kathryn Lasky's book "She's Wearing a Dead Bird on her Head!", which I don't own. I don't own Time Warp Trio either, the books are owned by Jon Scieszka (Pronounced She-ska) and the TV show is owned by Discovery Kids. Thanks for the great books Jon and Kathryn!**

For the Birds

"Ok, I really don't think this is Boston."

I had to admit, Fred was right. There definitely weren't this many trees in the late 1800's. So, either we weren't in Boston, or we weren't in the late 1800's.

"I told you, I told you _both_ it wasn't going to work!" Sam insisted as he readjusted his glasses. "Joe, please tell me you at least have _The Book_."

"Well…" I said, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot.

"Don't tell me, it's gone." Sam said flatly.

"Ok, I won't tell you."

"Excuse me for a moment." Sam said, and started to walk off. This surprised me, usually Sam spazzes out when _The Book_ warps us out of our own time. Then Sam grabbed Fred's hat off his head, and stuck his face in it.

"_This is Fred's and that stupid _Book_'s fault!!_" Sam yelled into Fred's hat. It was somewhat muffled by the hat.

"Gimme my hat back." Fred demanded as he ripped his hat out of Sam's hands. "I'm sure we're just… uh, maybe we're in a really big park?"

I looked at the trees all around us. They seemed to stretch on for miles.

"No Fred, you said it yourself, this isn't Boston."

"Well, maybe we're outside Boston. Like, a few miles away or something?"

"No, because then we'd be able to smell the ocean. Boston's a Port City, remember?"

"Guys, quit fighting!" Sam interrupted our argument. "We have to find _The Book_ and get home before something bad happens. And something bad _always_ happens!" As soon as Sam finished his sentence, something swooped down at us.

_**Sceeeeeaaaaawww!**_

Whatever it was that swooped at us screeched. It was big, and it could fly, but it was going so fast I couldn't tell what it was.

_**Screeeeeaaaaawww!!**_

"What is that thing?" Fred asked as he ducked behind a tree, "It sounds like a deranged bird!"

_**Screeeaaaww!**_ It made another swoop at us. This time a few feathers drifted down. It looked like we were being attacked by a very angry bird.

"We need to get out of here!" Sam yelled, and ran for cover behind a tree. The bird suddenly changed course and dived at him.

"Nice birdie, _nice birdie_!" Sam pleaded as the bird dive-bombed him.

-Play theme here-

-End Chapter One-

**So, is this like a real episode or book of Time Warp Trio? Bring on the reviews! (Puppy face) _please?_**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: To those of you who are reading along as I write- I'm so sorry that this took so long to update! Between camping trips and loosing my referance book and a severe case of a-b writer's block, it took me a while to get the writing going. But once I started I kept going, most of this was writen in 1 hour. To those of you who are just starting to read this story- Be glad you don't have to wait almost a month between chapters! Anyway, thank you all my reviewers thus far: NobleBrokenBeauty (I know, there are so few TWT fics, it makes me sad), Luiz4200 (Thanks for reveiwing even though you're not familliar with TWT), and -PercabethLUVER- (Thanks for telling me what you thought, I'm trying to stay close to the TV show, and in some respects the books) also thanks to LottesBlossom for faving my story.**

So, how did we find ourselves being attacked by a deranged bird? Well, it can all be blamed on a book, and a misunderstanding between Fred and our History teacher.

You see, for my tenth birthday, I got a book from my Uncle Joe. But not a normal book about people talking to animals or surviving in the mountains. This book, _the Book_, lets you travel through time, although 'lets' may not be the best way to describe it. We've been unexpectedly flung into almost every time period I could think of, and some I wouldn't have known about before. It seems like the only way to avoid time travel with _the Book_ is to just not get _the Book_ out, but of course my friend Fred is always doing that anyway.

"So, have you guys started your history report?" Sam asked casually as we hung around my bedroom.

"I've got some information gathered, I just need to write up the report part now." Fred said. I looked up from the comic I had been reading in surprise.

"_You're_ almost done?" I asked in disbelief. Fred usually isn't the type to even care about his homework, much less start the day after we had gotten our assignment.

"What are you doing that made you decide to start early? The history of the New York Yankees?" Sam asked, also surprised that Fred was taking this assignment seriously.

"No, I'm doing the Audubon Society."

Sam gave Fred a weird look. "I didn't know you liked birds."

"Huh?"

"Lemme see you're subject Mr. Keith gave you."

Fred handed Sam the small strip of paper he had drawn out of the hat yesterday at school.

"I've looked up some stuff on the internet. It's in Germany and there really isn't any speed limit, you can go as fast as you want!" Fred bragged.

"Uh, Fred, you're thinking of the _Autobahn_ highway in Germany." Sam corrected Fred, "This is the Audubon Society, a club dedicated to the protection of birds."

Fred frowned and looked at the slip of paper. "You're sure?"

"Fred, why would you have to do a report about a German highway in U.S. History?" I asked him.

"Uh, because it's where all the American car commercials are shot?" Fred guessed hopefully, and then sighed dejectedly. "Aw man, I'm gonna loose the bet."

"What bet?" I asked.

"I made a bet with my brother that I could finish this report before the day it was due. I thought I was going to make it; I had a bunch of stuff I found just in a book at my house. Now I've got to start all over again!"

"Better start an internet search." Sam said, "Oh, and I have a book at home you can look at about the start of the Audubon Society, if you want it."

"Nah, I don't think I'll get much help from one book." Fred said. Then he got a look on his face like he did when he got an idea. I recognized it because it doesn't happen very often. "Hey, maybe I _could_ get some help from one _Book_!"

"What, an encyclo- _Oh no_! Joe you can't let him use the _Book_ just to help him with a report!" Sam yelled.

"He's right Fred." I said, walking over to the box I kept the _Book_ in to bar it from Fred, "I mean, a report doesn't seem like much of an emergency."

"But I bet my whole entire baseball card collection!" Fred pleaded. This was the part where he got me. Fred had a card I had my eye on, and I knew there was no way I would be able to trade for it with Fred's brother. I really did want Fred to get his report done on time.

"Well…" I started to say, when Sam cut me off.

"Joe, we shouldn't. Every time we use that thing we nearly get killed, we mess around with history and almost send the time/space continuum into a death spiral, and then we get in trouble when we get back!"

"I'm pretty sure I've got it down now. Last time I warped Jodi, Anna, and me right back into the pizza parlor we left from and nothing bad happened."

Sam thought about it, although I'm pretty sure he was thinking less about whether or not I could use the book right, and more about whether he should stay and be safe, or go and try to keep me and Fred from getting killed. In the end I think he decided he'd never be able to live with himself if he wasn't there to help us if we died in a time warp.

"Alright, but be really careful what you do with it." Sam finally said.

I took out the _Book_ and opened to a page with a baby bird in a nest, and the green time warp mist swirled around our feet.

**Ok, so I'll try harder to get the next chapter in soon, but don't expect it until after July 26th, when I get back from yet another camping trip! Oh, and now this story, and my other TWT story, How to Drive the Time Warp Trio Crazy, are now in the TWT C2 in Misc. Cartoons.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: Well, here is Chapter three; I hope it didn't take too long. I hope you guys like it. I finally found my reference book, so things should speed up after this. I'll try my best to finish before school starts, because that will really slow things down. Thanks for the new reviews from –PercabethLUVER- and NobleBrokenBeauty, and CrazyCartoonGirl for favoriting my story. **

"Nice birdie, _nice birdie!_" Sam pleaded as the bird dive-bombed him. Luckily Fred and I pulled him out of the way at the last second.

"I think we need to get out of here!" I yelled over the birds screeches.

"Yes, you do." Said a deep voice behind us. The next think I knew we were being picked up from behind. "What do you three boys think you're doing?" The deep voice asked angrily.

"Nothing!" Fred said, "Well, we weren't doing anything wrong. I'm just trying to finish my history report!"

"Uh, what he means, sir is we were just passing through," Sam corrected, "And we got lost and that bird attacked us!"

Whoever had picked us up put us back down. We all turned around to see two men. One was very large with dark brown hair, a large green coat, and small glasses. The other wore a hunter's camouflage uniform and had binoculars strung around his neck, but didn't carry a gun.

"Yeah, sure. I suppose you also just happened to run into a goshawk's nest as well." Said the man in the camouflage outfit. His voice wasn't as deep as the one that had talked to us earlier.

"Now, Mr. Nocial, we can't just accuse these three young boys of working for the black market." Said the man with the dark brown hair. He had the deep voice. I was also guessing he was in charge. "Let them have a chance to tell their side of the story."

"Black market!?" Sam exclaimed.

"Our side of the story?" I repeated apprehensively.

"What's a Goshawk?" Fred asked.

"Well boys, what are you doing out here?" Mr. Nocial asked us.

"Well sir, we're from Brooklyn, and we were on our way to Boston, when we sort of… Got lost." I said, mostly sticking to the truth.

"Boston's just a day's journey from here. If you stick to the trail, that is." Said the man with the deep voice.

"And what were you doing with this Goshawk? You better not have been trying to harm it, we're both members of the Audubon Society, Mr. Hemenway and I. In fact, Augustus' wife founded the Society…"

"Wait, you're wife started the Audubon Society?" Sam asked Mr. Hemenway.

"Yes." Mr. Hemenway replied, "Do you know of it?"

Fred caught on to what Sam was trying to do. "Oh, yeah, we're big fans. In fact, would it be too much to ask if we could maybe meet her? It would be a real honor to learn about the first few years of the Society!"

_Wow,_ I thought, _Fred sure knows how to butter them up!_

"Well, since you boys are already heading in the direction, I don't suppose it would do any harm. Do you think we have enough room in the wagon, Mr. Nocial?"

"I believe we will, since we didn't find any injured birds." Mr. Nocial replied.

"You guys are going to give us a ride?" I asked, "Wow, thanks!"

"It's not a problem dear boy, after all, a gentlemen always helps others in need."

So it looked like this time warp was actually going pretty well. Not only had we landed in the right time, we were only a few miles off. Sam didn't hesitate to mention that if it had been the same distance in the opposite direction we would have been in the ocean, but it still looked like everything was going well. Unfortunately, things didn't exactly stay that way.

**So that's chapter three for ya guys! I hope the chapters aren't too short, most of the time I write long chapters for my stories and so far all the chapters for this have been pretty short. If you think the chapters are too short, just leave a review saying so. Reviews… I need reviews!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Authour's Note: Chapter 4, here we come! Here things get a little more interesting. I tried to lengthen this chapter up a bit. As usual I'd like to thank people who reviewed chapter 3: Luiz4200 and NobleBrokenBeauty. And now for my discredits- I don't own Time Warp Trio, the books are owned by Jon Scieska, and the TV show is owned by Discovery Kids. This story is based on She's Wearing a Dead Bird on her Head! by Kathryn Lasky. **

As we came into Boston in the wagon, I looked at all the people walking around the city. Even though it was more than 100 years ago, Boston was still a very busy place. Wagons and carriages were hurrying down the street, and there were plenty of vendors at the side of the road selling everything from a cure to warts, to small scissors that were supposed to be used to cut nose hairs! There were also plenty of people selling food, and the delicious aromas of fresh-baked bread filled the air. There were different kinds of meats and vegetables being sold, some roasted, and some raw. (I'm serious; they were selling raw meat, to be eaten raw)

Fred's stomach grumbled. "Oh, I'm starving! Mr. Hemenway, can we stop and get something to eat? Please?"

"Well, it has been a long day, I suppose you boys can go look for something to eat." Mr. Hemenway called from the front of the wagon, "I'll just park the wagon over here. You boys go help yourself.

"_Yes!_" Fred yelled as he jumped out of the wagon. Sam and I climbed out and followed him over to a vendor selling some giant soft-pretzels.

"Four please!" Fred asked as we walked up.

"Four!?" Sam asked, "Are you getting one for Mr. Nocial or something?"

"No, I'm getting myself two."

"Fred that's not fair, if you get two, then we should all…"

They both started arguing and yelling, while the vendor operator just stared at us.

"Guys, calm down. Five please." I finally said.

"Aren't you getting two?" Sam asked.

"No, we're each getting one, and we're getting one for Mr. Nocial and Mr. Hemenway.

"Fine." Fred said, as he took his pretzel from the vendor. "How much is that?"

"That'll be 1.00." the Vendor said as he gave us our pretzels.

"Really?" I asked in disbelief. Back home it cost more than a dollar for one pretzel, and here we could get five for a buck!

"Don't question it, just take your pretzel and pay the man." Sam said. I handed the vendor a dollar and we walked off.

"I can't believe those pretzels cost a _dollar_!" Fred exclaimed as we walked back to the wagon.

"A _dollar_!?" a woman passing by asked us as they walked by, "That's highway robbery! Honestly, the nerve of some people…"

Fred watched the woman walk away. "What's 'Highway Robbery'?" He said scratching his head.

Sam chuckled. "It's inflation, Fred. As time goes on, people get better paying jobs, so they make more money. When people make more money, things cost more, because the people can afford it. 'Highway Robbery' is an expression that means something costs way more than it's worth."

Fred looked kind of confused, and I felt like I didn't exactly understand either, but I didn't have much time to worry about that, because at that moment, someone was yelling at us.

"Hey, you kids, _stop_!"

We turned around to see the pretzel vendor running towards us and looking mad. _Very_ mad. So mad that I thought it might be a good idea to run away from him.

"No one tries to give Landon Payne a counterfeit bill!" The vendor yelled, and chased after us, looking like he wanted to wring our necks whether we repaid him or not.

"_Run!_" I yelled, and the three of us ducked into an ally. It was narrow and there were no wagons or horses, and very few people. Probably a good place for Mr. Payne to give us some Payne without anyone else knowing.

We just kept running down the ally until we ran straight into a lady coming out of her house.

"Uh, sorry!" I apologized, "But we're running from-"

"Stop right there young man!" The lady said, spreading her arms out to catch Sam and Fred too. "You think you can just run amuck through ally-ways? You'd better be careful, you might get hurt! I almost knocked you to the ground with my door."

"Thanks," Fred said, "But right now we really need to go!"

"Stop! Stop those three!"

The lady looked over us with a piercing gaze. I could tell she knew we were the three Mr. Payne was talking about.

"Well, boys, is this what you were running from?" She asked. I had a sinking felling that the look in her eyes meant she was going to turn us in.

**And now is my time to remind you to Review! Seriously, I want some more, I've only got 7! And now that the Olympics are here and school starting after that, yes, updates are going to slow down. Sorry. And for you reading in the future, don't worry, you just need to click the button! Aren't you lucky!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Here's chapter 5. I'm sorry it took so long, I've been experiancing some major writer's block, which explains why this chapter is so short. Well, there's only one new review! Thanks Luiz4200, and to the rest of you: Come on! Is it too much to ask for more reviews? **yes** Oh, uh, sorry I bothered you then.**

"Well boys, is this what you were running from?" The woman asked us.

All three of us started talking at once. "Yes." "No!" "Don't believe anything he tells you!"

"Mr. Payne, why are you chasing these poor children?" she yelled at Mr. Payne angrily, "They can't be more than ten years old! What could they have possible done?"

"They tried to pay me in counterfeit bills!" Mr. Payne demanded, pointing at me, then at Fred, who was trying to steal on of the extra pretzels from Sam.

"They're not counterfeit!" I tried to explain.

"They might as well be, Joe, Washington's head just appeared on the dollar bill twenty-five years ago, the kind of bills we use in 2005 won't go into circulation for more than sixty years!" Sam whispered to me.

"They're children, do you expect them to make their own counterfeit bills? Or even be able to tell the difference between a real one and a fake?"

"Hmm…" Mr. Payne thought for a moment, "Kid, where'd you get this dollar?"

"Uh, my neighbor paid me for feeding his cat while he was on vacation." I told him.

"Must have been some vacation." Mr. Payne said, "Alright, I'll let you three off with a warning this time, but someone's still got to pay for those pretzels!"

"Oh, if it's such a big deal to you, _I'll_ pay for it!" the woman said, obviously annoyed with the street vendor.

Mr. Payne took her money and ran back down to his pretzel cart that he'd left. I couldn't believe we'd already gotten ourselves into this kind of trouble, but at least it was over now.

"Thanks for the save Miss…" Sam started to say.

"Miss Hall." She said, "It's no problem at all. Mr. Payne is just a frugal, grumpy old man, with no respect or pity for anyone. He's always having to be put in his place."

"Well, we've got to get back to Mr. Hemenway and Mr. Nocial, so I guess we'd better get going." Fred said, and started walking down the ally.

"Wait." Miss Hall said, "Did you say Hemenway? Would this happen to be Augustus Hemenway?"

I tried to remember if Mr. Hemenway had told us his first name. I think it started with a sort of "Aug" sound at the beginning, but I wasn't sure.

"I think so." I finally said.

"He's my cousin's husband!" Miss Hall exclaimed. "How did you boys meet him?"

"Well, we were lost in the woods, trying to find Boston," I explained, "And he found us and brought us into town. And we wanted to meet his wife, your cousin, so he said it would be ok for us to come along."

Miss Hall smiled. "Well, why don't I help you boys find him? I have a feeling I'm going to like you three."

**That's the short and sweet chapter 5. I'm hoping I'll get over my writer's block and give you a longer chapter because I'm not happy with this chapter, it's kind of a filler. So, I'll try harder with the new chapter.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: Wow, sorry it took so long to do this. I had to re-write this chapter. The whole 'just knowing where the Book is' thing was causing too big a hole in the plot. Now I should be able to get over that writer's block.**

When we found Mr. Hemenway, he was a little worried about where we'd been, but was glad to know Ms. Hall had found us. He said if anyone could take care of us three, it was her. We all hopped into the wagon and traveled to a more prestigious neighborhood in Boston. It was filled with big fancy homes and giant green parks. First Mr. Hemenway stopped and dropped off Mr. Nocial at his house. After a few more minuets we stopped outside of a big brick house with two granite statues of eagles on either side of the front door.

"Snazzy place." Fred commented as we got out of the wagon and strolled up the walkway to the front door. When we got to it Mr. Hemenway grabbed a brass knocker and tapped it against the door three times.

"It's your house, why do you have to knock?" I asked.

"It wouldn't be polite of me, as a gentleman, to enter un-announced while the lady of the house is at home." Mr. Hemenway explained.

The door opened to reveal a tall lady wearing glasses. She smiled. "Augustus, you're home early, and with no casualties I see. And Minna! What a pleasure to see you here! I wasn't expecting you until tomorrow." Then she saw us three. "Who are these boys, Augustus?"

"I'm Joe, and these are my friends, Sam and Fred." I told her.

"I found them wandering about in the woods, Harriet, without a clue as to where they were. They were trying to find Boston, so I pointed them in the right direction. Then they mentioned they were interested in the Audubon Society and that they wanted to meet you, so I offered them a ride into town."

"Well, it's a pleasure to meet all of you." Mrs. Hemenway said, shaking all our hands.

"Mrs. Hemenway, could I ask you a few questions about how the Audubon Society started?" Fred asked when she shook his hand.

"Why of course." She replied, "But why don't we go into the parlor. I was just about to have tea. Would you boys like anything?"

"Yes please!" Fred said with enthusiasm.

"Fred, you just had two giant soft pretzels!" Sam reminded him. Mr. Nocial hadn't wanted a pretzel and gave it to Fred when he saw him drooling.

"Yeah, but then we went on a wagon ride. Traveling in something pulled by a horse makes me hungry."

In the Hemenway's parlor there was one wall completely covered in shelves filled with books. While Fred asked Mrs. Hemenway questions, I scanned over the whole wall as carefully as I could, looking for the _Book_. Unfortunately, it wasn't there. But maybe the Hemenways had seen it.

"Uh… You sure do have a lot of books here." I said, trying to bring up the subject.

"Ah, yes. This is my collection of the Boston Directory. It gets quite extensive over the years. There are even more books in the library." Mrs. Hemenway said.

"You wouldn't happen to have a particular _Book_, would you?" Sam asked, catching on to what I was doing, "A blue one, with silver squiggles on it?"

Mrs. Hemenway looked thoughtful for a moment. "I'm sorry boys, I don't believe we have such a thing."

I wasn't sure how to tell her that this _Book _had a way of just showing up in places, so I had to make up a new strategy. But in the meantime, I had something else to take care of…

"Mrs. Hemenway, where's your bathroom?" I asked quietly.

She looked a bit surprised, but told me it was down the south hall, second door on the left.

"Just past the library." She said.

"Ok, thanks" I said.

After, uh, relieving myself, I decided to peak into the library. I started scanning shelves carefully. I was beginning to think the _Book_ really wasn't there when I saw it, on the very top shelf on the other side of the room.

"Aha! Gotcha!" I yelled, and I was about to run across the library to grab it when someone else yelled behind me.

"Young man, just _what_ do you think you're doing?" Mrs. Hemenway asked me sternly.

"Well, uh, you see, I just saw a book that belongs to me, so if I could just get it— "

"No, Joe, I think you must be mistaken." She said as she pushed me out of the library and back into the parlor. "We may have two _copies_ of the same book, but I can assure you that all the books in this library are mine. And some of them are very rare books, so I would prefer if ten-year-old boys were not running amuck in there."

"But it's the _Book_, the blue book with silver squiggles Sam asked you about."

"I already told you, we don't have such a book. If we did, I would know. I just went through the entire library last week." She rebuffed me. Well, I could see it was no use arguing with her, so I went back to the parlor with her. When I sat back down at the table, Sam and Fred both looked at me expectantly, but I just shook my head.

A few hours later Fred had written two whole pages of notes on the Audubon Society and eaten four of Miss Hall's sandwiches. We were just walking out the door when we saw a man and a lady with a pheasant perched on her hat.

"What good is a law if it isn't enforced?" Miss Hall moaned, referring to the law against supplying feathers for hats. "You can't arrest the lady for wearing the hat."

"But you can arrest the supplier of the feather." Mrs. Hemenway said. "I've heard rumors about secret feather warehouses, but I don't know how we would find them. We could hardly travel to New York City and try to find one."

Miss Hall sighed. "No, we could not. It would mean having to find a store that sells hats with feathers on them, and then actually _buying_ them!" She shuddered at the thought.

"And it would be _far_ from lady-like." Mrs. Hemenway added.

As we walked away from the Hemenway's house, an idea came into my head. It was a stupid idea, it was a crazy idea, but I couldn't get it out of my head.

"Joe, what happened back there? We heard you yelling in the hall. You were making us look crazy." Fred asked.

"Yeah, that's usually Fred's job." Sam joked. Fred threw his hat at him.

"So why were you yelling?" Sam asked, "Did you find the _Book_?"

"Well, sort of." I said slowly.

"_Sort of_? What do you mean, _Sort of_?" Sam asked.

"Well, I did find the _Book_…" Sam cheered, "But I didn't get it."

"What!?" Sam and Fred both exclaimed. I explained to them how Mrs. Hemenway had caught me in the library.

"So, how are we going to get the _Book_?" Fred asked, "Are we going to break into their house tonight or something?"

"You would break into their house after they gave us a ride out of the woods and fed us?" Sam asked Fred exasperatedly.

"Well, it's our _Book_, they wouldn't miss it." Fred grumbled.

"Actually," I said, "I think we need to go to New York City."

"Why!?" Sam asked in alarm, "Joe, you're not thinking of trying to find the secret feather warehouse, are you? We can't do something like that, we haven't got any money for this time period, we wouldn't know where to start, and people who work the black market are _not_ very nice people _if you know what I mean!_" Sam started to spazz out again at the end of that sentence.

"I know it's a crazy idea, but think about it! If we help them bust the feather warehouse they'll probably let us look around the library. Then I can _prove_ to her that it's our _Book_!"

"You're right Joe, that sounds _really_ crazy." Fred said, "I think you might've left your brain back in 2005."

"Well, do _you guys_ have a better idea about how to get the _Book_?" I asked. Fred started to talk, "_Other_ than breaking into their house." Sam and Fred were silent.

"Alright." Sam said with a sigh, "But how are we going to get there?"

"Well, there's always hitch-hiking." Fred said as he stuck out his thumb.

"Oh come on Fred, that never—" Sam started to say before a wagon pulled up in front of us.

"Where to?" The driver asked.

"New York City." Fred said.

"I'll give you kids a ride you ya help me sell these chickens when we get there." The driver gestured at the chickens in the wagon bed.

"Sure!" I said, and we all jumped into the wagon with the chickens.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: It's a brand-spankin'-new chapter! And you're all probably thinking _finally!_ Yeah, I know, It's been way too long. But I'm serious, IT IS ALMOST OVER. Two more chapters, tops. I'll try and finish it in the short four days I have between camp and a family reunion.  
**

After a long, smelly cart ride from Boston the New York City, and spending even more time bartering off the chickens, we were ready to start looking for the feather warehouse.

"Thanks for the help kids." The guy who had given us a ride told us. "You kids earned more than what that ride was worth, so here's a part of the earnings." He handed us each a dollar.

"Wow! A dollar each, are you sure?" Sam asked him. He nodded.

"Yeah, I can hardly contain my excitement, a whole dollar." Fred said sarcastically as the man rolled away in his wagon.

"Come on Fred, that's a lot of money for back then! I mean now!" Sam told him.

"Guys, quit arguing, we need to think of a way to find an illegal feather warehouse!" I reminded them.

"Yeah, and how are we supposed to do that? Just march in and ask? 'Excuse me, but you wouldn't happen to be selling illegal hats, would you?'" Sam said.

"Well, maybe we could buy one." I suggested, "Then we could use the tag to trace the feathers back to the warehouse!"

"Yeah, and how are we going to afford a fancy, expensive hat?" Fred asked. "We've got three dollars combined, and I don't care what century you're in, you can't buy a fancy hat for three bucks."

"I've still got fifteen bucks my mom gave me for pizza." I said.

"Yeah, in 'counterfeit' money."

"But we're dealing with the type of people who deal with illegal merchandise, so maybe they'll take it without asking questions." Sam thought out loud.

"But if we spend that money on a hat, we won't be able to buy pizza tonight!" Fred complained.

Sam sighed, "Fred, don't you think this is a _little_ more important?"

After deciding that getting home _was_ more important than pizza, we hit the streets, looking for a hat store. After an hour of searching, we saw a lady wearing a hat with an owl on it.

"Watch this." Fred whispered to us, then ran up to the lady in the hat.

"Fred, wait!" I called after him, but he was already standing in front of her.

"Hey! Wow, that sure is a nice hat!" he said in what I guess _he_ thought was a smooth voice.

"Oh! Um… Thank you?" She said, confused.

"Yeah, I was thinking of getting my mom a nice hat like that for her birthday, but I can't find any place that sells 'em. Where'd you get yours?"

"This might actually work." Sam whispered to me as we watched Fred sweet talk the lady.

She laughed. "Ha! You won't be able to afford anything with feathers! Not a kid your age! The cheapest thing there was eighteen dollars!"

Fred didn't loose a beat. "I'm sure my dad'll be willing to pitch in. Just tell me where you found the store so I can bring him along later."

The lady sighed and told Fred the address. He wrote it down on a gum wrapper he found in his pocket and then ran over to us.

"Am I good, or what?"

"Well, you did get us the address of the store." I admitted.

"It's not far from here." Sam figured, looking at some street signs, "Come on, let's buy that hat so we can get out of here."

The store was smaller than the other one around it, but it was brightly lit, with a huge display window showing dozens of hats. The name of the store was C. O. Wardly: Hats For All Occasions.

"Hey, none of these hats have feathers!" Fred exclaimed while he was looking in the window.

"Of course not!" Sam said, "They're illegal, you probably have to ask a secret code question or something!"

I walked in and went up to the cashier. I put the money on the counter, and whispered. "You got any feathered hats?"

The cashier gave me a confused look. "What would a kid want with a feathered hat?"

"Uh, It's for my mom's birthday."

"Oh, I see. Let me guess, your dad sent you."

"Um… Yeah."

The cashier sighed impatiently, "Not again. They don't want the loose face, so they send in their kid, but the kid never knows any of the measurements! You don't know any of the measurements, do you?" He asked me.

"Uh, no."

"Of course not, because that'd just be too easy on me." The cashier stormed into the back of the store. "Tell you what. I'll show you what we have in your price range, you pick what you think your mom will like, then when you give it to her, bring her back here to be fitted. Ok?"

"Um, Ok."

He came back with two hats. One was brown with a whole swallow's tail sticking over the brim, and the other was blue, with a few egret feathers stuck in the side.

"I'll take the blue one." I said. He took the money I'd left on the counter, put the hat in a box, then the box in a bag, and finally gave it to me.

"It'll cost your folks three more dollars to have it re-fitted!" He called as I left the store.

"Did you get it?" Sam asked me.

"No, he's just carrying around a bag full of fruit." Fred said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"Let's get a look at that tag." I said, taking the hat out of the box. "Aha! Warehouse twenty-one! This is it guys, time for the feather bust!  
**  
Thank you all reviewers! You know who you are, and I appreciate you. You're the reason I'm still writing this story.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: This is the last Chapter. I am dead serrious! Whoo! This took way too long to write, and truthfully, I'm glad it's over. Sorry it took so long, but I've had writer's block and my computer was packed away while we were moving.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Time Warp Trio. The cartoon is owned by Discovery Kids, and the book series was created by Jon Sezika (She-ska). This story is based on the book "She's Wearing a Dead Bird on her Head!" By Kathryn Lasky.  
**

We walked down to the warehouse district. Even though it was the middle of the day, it seemed dark and gloomy.

"Ok." Fred said, "There's warehouse twenty-one. We'll sneak in, swipe a bag of feathers, then call the police to bust them."

"How are we supposed to call the police? I doubt they have a phone in there." Sam said. "How about we just tell the police what we know and let them handle it?"

"Where's the fun in that?" Fred asked.

"And why would they believe us?" I added. "What we need to do is steal some of their feathers and bring them to the police as evidence."

"Ok, and how are we supposed to sneak in?"

"I'll distract the guards," I said, "Then you two sneak past them and open one of those windows." I pointed to a window that was pretty close to the ground.

I walked out in front of the warehouse.

"Hey! Kid! What're you doing here?" one of the guards shouted at me.

"Good evening, gentlemen! I, Joe the Magician, have come to show you my amazing skills of telepathy!"

From where I was standing I could see Sam burying his face in his hands thinking: _Oh no, not _another_ useless magic trick!_

"What're you doing magic tricks out here for?" The second guard asked.

"Uh… I'm practicing to be a street performer?"

"And why are you practicing at a warehouse?"

"Oh, who cares? He's just a kid." The first guard said.

"Ok." I started, "I want one of you to pick a number between one and ten, then tell it to the other, but not me."

The two guards fought over who would pick the number. The second guard finally won and whispered it to his partner.

"Ok, now, to use my telepathy, I must connect myself to your brain by putting on finger on each temple." I said.

"Whoa! I don't want no one connecting to my brain!" the guard protested.

"Oh come on, it's just a trick." The first guard said, "I can already tell what he's gonna do."

I put one finger on either side of the guard's head. "Now, concentrate hard on the number. To help you concentrate on the number, bite down that many times."

As the guard bit down, I felt the muscles on the side of his head move seven times.

"The number you were thinking of was seven!" I declared.

"How'd you do that?" The second guard asked.

The first guard rolled his eyes. "Here, I'll show you." While the two of them were busy I ran back to the window.

"I can't believe that worked." Sam said as he helped pull me in.

"Alright, now that we're all in, let's find a bag of feathers for evidence, then we'll bring it to the police." Fred said, carelessly walking out into the open where someone could see him.

"Hey, kid, what're you doing here?" Someone yelled at him.

"Uh, yeah, well I was… Run!"

We all ran through the maze of boxes and bags in the warehouse, with a bunch of guards and cronies behind us. One of them fired a gun. The shot barely missed Sam.

"Eep!" Sam cried. The box above his head exploded, and feathers flew everywhere.

"Hey look, evidence!" Fred said almost casually. He grabbed a big handful of them.

We kept on running until we found a door to slip into to loose the guards.

"That was close." I said, panting.

"Who are you? What are you doing in my office?" a startled, maybe even scared voice asked.

We turned around to see a scrawny man with greasy blond hair peeking over a desk that had the nameplate "C. O. Wardly" on it.

"Um, we're on the middle school midnight tour." Sam said unconvincingly.

Mr. C. O. Wardly saw the feathers in Fred's hand. "Hey! You're stealing my feathers!"

"No we're not!" Fred said. "You're the ones who are stealing the feathers from the birds! People like you are killing hundreds of birds all over the world without a second thought, just to make a quick buck! That's the whole reason the Audubon Society was started, so people wouldn't kill hundreds of birds at a time!"

Wow. Fred was definitely going to pass this report.

Mr. C. O. Wardly just sat there and stared for a while. Then he said. "You're thieves!"

"Well," I said, "If you want to get real technical—"

"Please don't hurt me! Thieves hurt people!"

"Um. Ok. We won't hurt you if you let us use your phone." Sam said.

"Here. Take it! Call whoever you like! The mafia, the police…"

"We'll be calling the police." I said as I dialed the number.

The police came to the scene and arrested Mr. C. O. Wardly and his cronies. Mr. Wardly tried to convince the police that _we_ were the thieves, but they didn't listen. The Hemenways and Miss Hall were really happy with us, and we went over at their house to celebrate.

"Oh, I don't know how we can thank you boys enough." Miss Hall said while we were all eating little pastries.

"Well, if it's not to much to ask," I said as politely as I could, "I was wondering if you could do me a favor, Mrs. Hemenway."

She looked at me but didn't say anything, because her mouth was full. Proper ladies never spoke with their mouth full. (The same could not be said for Fred)

"Could we please look through your library?" I asked.

"We promise we'll be really careful." Sam added.

Fred mumbled something through a mouthful of pastries.

"Well, if it's so important to you boys, I'd be glad to."

The three of us ran into the library. I found a ladder and climbed up to where the _Book_ was.

"I _told _you that you had my _Book_." I said to Mrs. Hemenway.

"How on earth did that get there!?" She seemed pretty startled that a strange _Book_ had suddenly appeared in her library.

"It's ok, this _Book_ just shows up places sometimes." Sam reassured her.

I opened it up and the green mist started to swirl around. We all waved good-bye.

"Thanks for the report info!" Fred called, but I don't think they could hear him. Next thing we knew, we were back in my bedroom.

"Yes, I am going to ace that report!" Fred shouted.

"And since I let you use the _Book_ to get the information for it, you have to trade me that baseball card." I said as I put the _Book_ back in it's box.

"What? When was that part of the deal?"

"He's got a point Fred." Sam agreed. "And since you almost got _me_ killed as well, I think you should trade _me _that Red Sox team card…"

"What!? No way! I never said anything about trading you guys my cards!"

Sam and I exchanged glances. "Let's get him!" I yelled. Sam and I both grabbed a pillow and started pounding Fred before he could grab his own.

**Author's Note: A big thanks to all my reviewers, Alerts, and Favorites. You people are the reason I didn't just stop writing this story. I probably will not start a new story for a while because I have alot already started right now.  
**


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